Trash
by Happycat
Summary: What happens when you cross a Tracey with an Ash? Add a little Pikachu and you've got Trash! -Crude humor. I'm basically making fun of everyone.- :)


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Here's my short story on what you get when you cross a Tracey with an Ash. Add a little Pikachu and you've got yourself some Trash! This is basically my answer to the up-to-know unanswered question: What do you get if you cross Tracey with Ash? A friend on-line asked me this, and so I just casually replied, "You'd get a shit load of trash." Well that sparked an idea in my little head to write this fic! It's got some crude humor, but besides the "S" word that I said before, this is a bad word free fic! At least I think.. I wrote it a while ago, so I'm not sure anymore.. _ Also, BILL LOVERS, DON'T READ! Eheheh.. Well go on and do it anyway, \\\ I want to make you cry! ///   
That's all I have to say.. On with the story!!  
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"Bye Misty! Have a great time in the Safari Zone!" Ash waved a hand over his head bidding goodbye to his friend Misty, who was going to the Safari Zone to do research on the legendary Dragonair. She was highly interested in the myth that Dragonair's are guardians of the water and when a water-type Pokémon becomes injured, it will emit healing wind making the creature calm and healthy once more.  
  
"Well, Ash. What do you think we should do?" Tracey had never been in the Kanto lands and was very interested in the Pokémon, like any watcher should be.  
  
"Let's go to Seafoam Islands!" Ash proposed. He heard once that the legendary Articuno dwelled in the islands. Tracey nodded agreeing to this. It wasn't like he wasn't used to riding on Lapras.  
  
It turned out that for once Ash actually had a very good idea. The Safari Zone was located due north of Fuscia City, which was one of the major ports in Kanto. "Ash, you seem a lot smarter when your in your own territory. Did you know that?" Tracey was amazed that Ash had managed to execute his plan so precisely. Ash was amazed at his luck of finding a port here.  
  
"Heh..Heh.."  
  
"Welcome to Fuscia City!" A woman stood before them, and having bad experiences with woman, Ash hid behind Tracey whimpering. "Err... Ok. Hi, would you like to take the sea tour to Cinnabar Island? Only forty dollars per person!"  
  
"That's ok," Tracey said, shaking his head. "We're going to the Seafoam Islands on Lapras."  
  
"Shhh! Tracey, don't tell her what Pokémon I've got!" Ash was hitting the back of Tracey's leg.  
  
"Sir? Are you ok?" The woman gave Ash a perplexing stare. "I can get you some water."  
  
"Pika! Pipi? Pikachu, Pika-pi?" Pikachu came waddling up to Tracey and Ash carrying a small bag of popcorn.  
  
"Nooo! Your not taking Pikachu without a fight!" Ash jumped up and sent Charizard out of it's pokeball. Pikachu dropped his popcorn. "Charizard, wing attack!" Charizard, who was just beginning to like Ash, turned and flapped his wings at the woman.  
  
"Ahh... Ahhh..." She began to back away, but Charizard kept taking one step closer. "No you beast!! Get away!!!" The woman ran off screaming at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Kachu?" Pikachu looked worringly at Ash. "Pi?"  
  
"Ash has a gone a bit insane after Team Rocket has attacked him more times than you can shake a stick at," Tracey whispered to Pikachu, putting his hand up to his mouth so Ash couldn't hear.  
  
"C'mon guys!" Ash called releasing Lapras and calling back Charizard. Tracey and Pikachu walked up and climbed onto Lapras. "Let's go Lapras! To the Seafoam Islands!" Lapras managed to pull out of the port and into the ocean just in time to avoid hoards of police officers and flaming Growlithes.  
  
A few days passed as the four sailed across the sea. Tracey had drawn seven different Pokémon, and five sketches of Ash sleeping, eating, and picking his nose. Pikachu sighed when he saw those drawings thinking about how Ash always carries him around. Tracey just shuddered.  
  
After a while the four were beginning to get hungry, and Ash was beginning to look very tasty. Pikachu nibbled on his leg once or twice, but Tracey just kept thinking of the drawings.  
  
"Look guys!" Ash called out one morning, waking everyone up. There was a high mountain ahead of them, not more than two miles away, soaring high into the clouds.  
  
"Wow! Is that the Seafoam Islands, Ash?" Tracey put his hand to his forehead to see the land before him. Pikachu was in awe. Ash never had a large Pokémon to surf across the sea, and the last time Brock, Misty, and he had come this way, it was on a Sea Cruise 6to Cinnabar.  
  
Lapras landed gently on the beach allowing it's three passengers to climb off, and while Ash called her back to the pokéball, Tracey and Pikachu had already begun to walk up to the entrance of the mountain. "Look Ash!" Tracey yelled pointing, "Did you know there were caves here?" Ash nodded and stepped up next to Tracey and Pikachu.  
  
"Articuno supposedly lives within here. Shall we take a look around?" Ash said, stepping closer to the cave.  
  
"Pipipi!!" Pikachu jumped up onto Ash's shoulder and the two lead the way. Tracey followed.  
  
After walking for a bit, Tracey had forced them to take a break. Not that he's fat, but he's no carrot stick either, and so the group sat down to rest for a little bit. "Hey guys, what'd you supposed that is?" Tracey pointed to a large wooden object just next to him curiously.  
  
"Pika? Pikachu, pika!" Pikachu jumped up and shocked it, the object opened on it's own.  
  
"Check it out!" Ash reached in and pulled out a map. It was a map like the one Harry Potter owns, with the dot's representing people, each one named, and you could watch as they moved up and down. "What is it?"  
  
"It's a map of some sort. Hey! You can see creatures on it!" Tracey pointed out the three of them labeled as Pikachu, Tracey, and ???.  
  
"Hey! No fair!" Ash was getting ready to rip the map to shreds when he suddenly noticed his own name, covered by Pikachu's. "Uhh.. Who's there?" Ash looked around but saw no one, and the marks on the map had disappeared as well.  
  
"It's probably really old, maybe that was there for a while?" Tracey shrugged, "Anyway, look! We can see all the Pokémon on this too!" Ash ran his finger up and down the map.  
  
"Seel, Tentacool, Krabby, Psyduck... Magikarp, Shellder, Geodude.." There was nothing out of the ordinary here, maybe it wasn't worth coming. Ash took one last look getting ready to stuff the map into his pocket and leave when he noticed that the question marks had reappeared on the other side of the cave. This time they read, "A???????."  
  
It seemed like the three travelers had been wandering around in the cave for hours. Everytime they got close to the dot labeled ???, it flew off in a direction harder to reach, but each time a new letter appeared. "This is pointless..." muttered Tracey becoming very discouraged, "We're never going to catch up with it! It's gotta be Articuno!" The map now read, "Ar????no."  
  
"Pika-pi!" Pikachu ran forward, a few feet away was a large egg.   
  
"What's that?!" Ash whipped out his pokedex, as Tracey yanked out a pencil and his sketch book. Dexter's voice echoed through the cave.  
  
"A Pokémon egg. This particular egg type is not classified at this time." Ash groaned and Tracy swiftly drew the egg, making sure he had the right size and shape with his little protractor.  
  
"I remeber when I found a small egg kind of like this one in Grandpa Canyon, that's how Misty got Togepi," Ash explained. Tracey had only heard this story fifty bazillion times, what was one more gonna hurt?  
  
"Hey Ash! I have an idea," Tracey interrupted him, before he died of boredom. Who cared that he almost got eaten by the most prehistoric Pokémon there was? "What if we take this egg to that Pokémon researcher you met.. What was his name.. Bill? It might be a baby Articuno!"   
  
"Your right Tracey! Bill might be able to help us out, he likes the rare and fossil type Pokémon, he may know what Pokémon produced this egg! I mean, when we met the guy, he thought he was a Ka..Kab.. Oh whatever! He thought he was a fossil Pokémon!" Ash grabbed the egg off the ground and stuffed it into his knapsack and zipped it up tight so that not even Team Rocket could suspect something. Ash still hadn't realized that Jessie and James were somewhere lost in the Orange Islands stuck in the dinky Gyarados looking for them.  
  
Once outside of the Seafoam cave, Ash, Tracey, and Pikachu once again mounted Lapras. "To Pallet Town!" Ash yelled pointing in the direction of Pallet.  
  
"Why are we going there?" Asked Tracey. He still wasn't too keen on everything that had happened to Ash and Misty.  
  
"To get my Pidgeot, of course!" Ash acted as if Tracey should know that, it wasn't like he was Brock.  
  
"Pika pi pi!" Pikachu giggled, and Tracey shot him a nasty look. "Ka..."  
  
When they finally landed in the Pallet Town's sunny beaches, Ash and Pikachu sped off to the forest. Tracey had to draw the Sudowoodo sunning himself, and got left behind.  
  
"Sudo? Sudowoodo! Wood!" Sudowoodo got confused and fainted, so Tracey left, grumbling about the stupidity of Pokémon.   
  
"Pidgeot where are you?!"  
  
"Pikkka!" Pikachu and Ash were wandering through the forest calling for Pidgeot, but they had no luck.  
  
"Ahhh!! Help guys!" Tracey was on the ground, ducking from something, but neither Ash, nor Pikachu could tell what that something was.  
  
"What is it Tracey?" As soon as Ash spoke those words, a giant Pidgeot swooped down and landed before the group.  
  
"Pidgeeee!" Pidgeot spread is huge wings with grace, and seeing it's master smiled and bent down for Ash to stroke his feathers.  
  
"Thi.. This is yours?!" Tracey was still stunned by the bird's attack on him. "He's errr... Mean."  
  
"Naw... Pidgeot here is the guardian of the forest. He looks after all the smaller birds incase Fearow returns."   
  
"Geez.. You should tell me less about Togepi and more about the rest of your journey, ya' know?" Ash smiled, "So, what's up with Fearow?"  
  
Ash sighed, "I tried to catch a Pidgey on my first day of training and Pikachu here didn't like me too much so I threw a rock at it. Turned out that the Pokémon wasn't a Pidgey, but a Spearow. We escaped and then when I came back here a year later that same stupid bird still had a grudge against me so Pidgeot defends all the Pidgey's from him."  
  
Tracey looked stunned. "Uhh.. Sheesh Ash.." He couldn't decide if he was surprised at how well his memory had gotten, or how stupid he was to throw stones at a Pokémon in hopes of catching them.  
  
Ash smiled then looked back at his giant bird Pokémon. "Pidgeot, what do you think about coming back with me? I could use your help now a days." Pidgeot cooed then nodded yes.  
  
"Pi pi? Pika-pi! Kachu?"  
  
"Pige, ot. Pidgee ot ot. Pidgeot." Pikachu nodded then ran off into the forest a little ways to show Ash what Pidgeot had told him. When Tracey and Ash caught up, they found that the six Pidgeotto's that had been with the Pidgey's that day had evolved as well, and Pidgeot was no longer needed as the forest gaurdian.  
  
"Great! Welcome back Pidgeot!" Ash called his bird back to it's old ball then whipped out his pokedex again to switch it with Snorlax. After that was taken care of, Ash called Pidgeot back out. "Can you fly us to the lighthouse. Remember Bill? His home." Pidgeot nodded and bend low for the group to climb on. Tracey made Pidgeot flinch a bit, but in the end they were soaring through the air.  
  
"Almost there guys!" Ash yelled behind his back as they neared the lighthouse. When they landed, Ash noted that the place looked a bit more run down and creepy. Even some of the ruble from when Dragonite attacked was left scattered on the ground.  
  
"Whoa what happened here...?" Again with the pointless questions from the doughboy, Ash opened his mouth to explain, but didn't get the chance because Bill appeared before them, with an odd look on his face.  
  
"Hi Bill!" Ash waved, but Bill just glared at him. He looked once at Ash, then at Tracey, and finally down at Pikachu before back up at Ash. Pidgeot was fighting with him, and didn't seem to want to go back in his ball. But, finally after recieving two candies, Pidgeot gave and went in.  
  
"What's up with your Pokémon, Ash?" Tracey was trying to avoid Bill's pericing cold stare.   
  
"Dunno Trace! Hi Bill!" Ash walked over to Bill and shook his hand. "Listen bud, I have a question, and figured you'd know the answer, can you help us?"  
  
Bill seemed to come out of his icy stare, but spoke in a deep, rage filled voice, only Pikachu and Tracey seemed to take notice to. "Why don't we step inside and talk about your question over tofu? My cook has left on vacation once more." He smiled and ushered them inside the lighthouse.  
  
Once inside Ash showed Bill the egg that he had found in the Seafoam Islands. Bill seemed far from interested. "More tofu...?" He offered Ash and Tracey some more. Pikachu was given hamster pellets.  
  
"Pika-pi...." Pikachu's ears drooped.  
  
"Uh-huh.. Yea.. Interesting Ash, but first I'll have to run some tests." Bill stood up and walked out of the door into his lab, and the group followed. In the room were large objects, tubes, bubbling liquids, and many other things. The only thing that truly stood out were two large round metal objects. The light from the ceiling shined on them, and suddenly Ash got that feeling that someone dropped a stone in his stomach. "Now Ash, I've got to check your blood pressure. That is what this machine is for," he pointed to the two large capsules in the center of the room. "You too Tracey."  
  
"Uhh. Why?" Tracey asked, nervously. "We came for you to test the egg, not us."  
  
Bill smiled. "I know that, you silly boy. The Seafoam Island's are infected with poisonous err.. Sea foam. If you inhale any of it, you could feel the effects once it is too late.  
  
Ash and Tracey sighed, and then stepped into the two metal machines, Bill closed each one and locked the door.   
  
Pikachu sat on the desk watching uneasily. "Pi..."  
  
"Err.. Pikachu, come here quickly. You need a rabies shot after being in that cave." Bill advanced on Pikachu with a needle. Being the trustworthy mouse he is, Pikachu obeyed and allowed Bill to stick him.   
  
"Pikachu?!" Ash yelled through the machine's small window. Pikachu began to wobble then fell lifelessly to the floor. "Pikachu! Ahh! You're dead!"  
  
"Oh no.. It's not dead, just asleep." Bill smiled then pushed a small button on the metal mechanism's control panel, causing everything to begin flashing.  
  
Ash felt sick, as did Tracey. It was as if both of them were being sucked through a small hole towards each other, at the same time. They both had the same fear. "Will we collide?" And as if the machine read their minds Ash and Tracey both felt a horrible pounding on their bodies, and heard a loud crunching sound.  
  
"All done!" Tracey and Ash both wearily opened their eyes to see Bill above them smiling. "Everything went accordingly!" He laughed evilly.  
  
"What...?" Ash and Tracey spoke at the same time. "What'd you do?!" Again, simultaneously..  
  
"Gentlemen.. Or shall I say gentleman, may I present to you..." He paused and smiled once more. "Trash!" Bill held a mirror up to Ash and Tracey.  
  
"Oh my gosh..." They said in unison. Ash and Tracey were combined into an eerie creature. Trash looked like a fat version of Ash, with the hair of Tracey. The most hideous thing about them was Pikachu had also been combined at their shoulder and they had Pikachu's tail on their butt.  
  
"You see..." Bill laughed, "I would have been famous had you not scared Dragonite away that fateful night.."  
  
"Holy cheese doodle Ash what did you do to this guy?!" Trash yelled. "Nothing Tracey! Team Rocket did it!" Trash yelled once more. "Pi pi pika!" Trash sat down to think things over.  
  
"So, this is my revenge. I will now present you to the public and become a sell out star!!" Bill smiled and clicked his fingers. Instantly a Machamp and Primeape appeared from the shadows and tried to over power Trash.  
  
"Noo!" Trash screamed. "Piiiiikkkkkkaaaacccchhhuuuu!!!" A huge bolt of electricity shot out at Trash and hit the two Pokémon full blast, and then Trash ran out of the room, and outside the lighthouse.  
  
"You'll never leave!" Bill appeared above them on a full-grown Articuno. It had hatched from the Pokémon egg that they gave to Bill so stupidly. "Articuno! Ice Beam!" A large beam of ice and water shot out of Articuno's mouth and would have hit Trash had he not dove to the side.   
  
"Pika-pi!" Trash shot out bolts of electricity, each one frying Articuno and Bill more and more, till they fell into the ocean and sank to the bottom.  
  
The next week Trash had managed to go get back to the Safari Zone in time to see Misty exiting from the entrance smiling and carrying a new pokeball. "Guys! I got a Dratini!!" She began to gloat, until Trash stepped out before her. "What the...? Ash?! Tracey!? PIKACHU?!" Misty fell to the ground laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her face. "You.. You look so stupid! Hahaha!"   
  
"Yeah well.. Carrot face shut up. Kachu?"  
  
  
THE END  
  



End file.
